Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Raid My Closet: Giveaway Alert: FAB MANILA
Want to be Fabulous on Christmas and New Year? check this blog giveaway out! :D Raid My Closet: Giveaway Alert: FAB MANILA: Hello gorgeous people!! Now we're on to the second part of my birthday giveaway (in case you haven't joined the first leg yet, click HERE ),...
-— My Kiss ʼn Make-up —-: giveaway
Good thing it's Christmas! Click the link below for more info. ♥♥♥
-— My Kiss ʼn Make-up —-: giveaway
-— My Kiss ʼn Make-up —-: giveaway
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Other Half
Everytime I think about us reminds of how we pulled this off for more than 6 years now --- trying to fight the feeling of loneliness when we are apart, maintaining communication despite the conflicting schedules and financial problems, and keeping the fire alive even though a lot discourages us (including my parents & I'm not sure maybe some of the people you know) that LDR or long distance relationships won't work. Yes, I'm so in love with you. Yes, I'm still in love with you. Especially now that we are emerging from a dependent to an independent stage in life where we get our jobs for the future. One thing's uncertain though. I'm not so sure if you're still that in love with me compared to before. I've always told myself, "He really changed a lot since last year." I mean, it's so obvious for me to figure it all out --- his actions, the way he treats me when we meet, how he texts, the way he talks to me over the phone, how he seldom say the 3 words anymore, and many other things. Yet again, here comes the famous "denial" defense mechanism. Because I don't want to lose you, denial sets in. And right this moment, I do still continue to convince that all information I gathered aren't reliable; that I'm just not thinking hard and looking at the other perspective of the situation.
Another question that usually follow is this: "What did I do wrong that made him change like that?" Then I answered myself, "hmmm.. perhaps I changed a lot. Or maybe I'm being too tactless that I am hurting him through my actions." The personal issue to myself comes in now. My mind is always juggling every now and then (cos I really dunno how to figure out what I want in life) that I forget to straighten myself up and do things carelessly, not knowing that I'm hurting someone's feelings. Am I making him go away? Am I pushing me to walk away from me? That scares me a lot.
You see. He's been my stone ever since I went to college. He'd been a good friend to me--- a bestfriend, a boyfriend--- my comforter, my reminder, and my strength to every problem I encounter. He gives me the reason to smile, makes me laugh when I feel down or just having PMS. He's so patient when I'm having PMS, that I even try to piss him off without any reason. Through good times and bad times, he's there. Both of us do. It's a give-and-take relationship. But now, I think I've gone to far. Had it been too much for him that he had enough of me? That he came to a point to stop being like him before, cos I always take advantage of it? Or was I just overreacting to all the situations coming in and out? Random things like these have been circling all over my head. I just can't figure it out. :|
All that matters now for me is him. He's like a battery to a phone. It won't work unless there's the battery. I wont be able to function that well cos he's not here for me now.
I guess I went too far the other night. I should have told him instead of not saying that I'd be going out with friends over the phone. Instead, I just texted him. Twas too late already. He already knew. Long story short, he's mad at me. Now I'm totally afraid that this will be the last. I'm really scared that he'd say straight to me that he had enough. Thinking about it makes me cry already. What more if it will happen. Fingers crossed, I so hope not. God help me! I know I can live without him, but I choose not to. I want him in my life and I just want to figure things out, especially to that issue of myself. I just hope he will be enlightened.
Another question that usually follow is this: "What did I do wrong that made him change like that?" Then I answered myself, "hmmm.. perhaps I changed a lot. Or maybe I'm being too tactless that I am hurting him through my actions." The personal issue to myself comes in now. My mind is always juggling every now and then (cos I really dunno how to figure out what I want in life) that I forget to straighten myself up and do things carelessly, not knowing that I'm hurting someone's feelings. Am I making him go away? Am I pushing me to walk away from me? That scares me a lot.
You see. He's been my stone ever since I went to college. He'd been a good friend to me--- a bestfriend, a boyfriend--- my comforter, my reminder, and my strength to every problem I encounter. He gives me the reason to smile, makes me laugh when I feel down or just having PMS. He's so patient when I'm having PMS, that I even try to piss him off without any reason. Through good times and bad times, he's there. Both of us do. It's a give-and-take relationship. But now, I think I've gone to far. Had it been too much for him that he had enough of me? That he came to a point to stop being like him before, cos I always take advantage of it? Or was I just overreacting to all the situations coming in and out? Random things like these have been circling all over my head. I just can't figure it out. :|
All that matters now for me is him. He's like a battery to a phone. It won't work unless there's the battery. I wont be able to function that well cos he's not here for me now.
I guess I went too far the other night. I should have told him instead of not saying that I'd be going out with friends over the phone. Instead, I just texted him. Twas too late already. He already knew. Long story short, he's mad at me. Now I'm totally afraid that this will be the last. I'm really scared that he'd say straight to me that he had enough. Thinking about it makes me cry already. What more if it will happen. Fingers crossed, I so hope not. God help me! I know I can live without him, but I choose not to. I want him in my life and I just want to figure things out, especially to that issue of myself. I just hope he will be enlightened.
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