Why am I such an abusive brat?!

At this very moment, I'm still wiping my tears running down my cheeks. I'm broken-hearted and its all my fault. We broke up, he surrendered. I mean, he was always suffering from my personality since the day we started this relationship. And now, napuno na siya. It hurts me soo bad realizing that even he has limits in his patience on me. I can't imagine hearing those words, "Ulahi na ang tanan." As he utter those lines, it was as if my world stopped. I really did not expect that this would happen. I was so afraid, afraid of loosing him. We've been in a long distance relationship since before our first anniversary, and trust is our only glue which makes us stick with each other keeping this relationship. He said, "It's really hard nowadays to find someone who's honest/loyal to a long distance relationship." I agree, but why was I so tanga on things. I broke his trust. In return, he broke my heart unintentionally and it's all because of me.

God gave me blessings that are hard to find, yet I take them for granted. There are so many things that I should be thankful of. But why am I such a brat? I can't control and figure out myself.

It hurts me so bad thinking that we'll be apart forever. That he already gave up with our relationship.

Then I got this last chance. All I got right now is last chance. My parents even gave me last chance on my studies. Naghihirap na ako. And I do think also that I deserve such. It's just so hard for me to change, fix, organize and discipline myself. Why does it have to be like this? Am such a brat jud! God help me. Send me a miracle!

boring saturday

Today's valentines day. heck I can't feel any!

i feel numb, but the people around me are so full of love. Does this have to happen?

on second thought, my father called this morning. the first one to actually greet me valentines!

love you Tay!mwah!my day's complete!

HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYONE!

February 14, Valentine's Day

They say this day is the day of romance; a day where sweethearts or lovers celebrate with flowers, candles, dinner reservations and chocolates. That are what most of the people do.

Celebrating valentine's day isn't just about lovers or sweethearts and stuffs. It's about love, love for everyone. So you can enjoy celebrating it with anyone you love, you treasure most, or own a part in your heart. Try celebrating this day with your friends or with your family, whether with your parents, siblings, or cousins. No dramas, just pure fun and joy, leave for a moment all the thorny problem life has bestowed upon our paths. Life ain't easy, but would it be much lighter and more colorful to live with if you have moments to pause and relax, right? Now chill!

My boyfriend isn't here in Dumaguete, he's in Dipolog and he can't come coz of the whether and some reason, but I'm not telling you my valentine's day would be so boring. It's a holiday offered to St. Valentine. I'm going out, with my friends. We'll be bringing our butts to the pool and create a wave using our uttmost strength to make this day special. I never really celebrate this day that much, but for a change, I'll be going out and have fun, unwind, and just be free for a while. I may miss my boyfriend's presence, but hey, what's the use of technology right?

Now, if you're bored and have nothing to do today, Valentine's Day, call your friends now and set up for an ambush outing. Don't limit yourself in saying that it's only for sweethearts or lovers. Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate!

Intricate Change of Schedule

Schedule, it's the least thing you'll expect not to change. I'm not liking this fact. Despite the fact that it'll serve as a training for us future nurses, I'm still not liking it. Since this is my first entry to my blog, let me spill up some details about myself.

Adaptation to a new environment depends on several factors, may it be the system in that new environment, the people, the rules, their beliefs and attitudes, and all those stuffs. One thing that's really hard for me to cope up with is the schedule. I'm a big lazy lady, I admit. I get so many tips and advices which will make my schedule and stuffs organized. But as what I've said a while ago, LAZY. I should have done/finished so many things ahead if I did it long time ago or as earlier as possible if I have time(studies first before any shenanigans and etcheteraz). As what they say, TIME IS GOLD. I'm not good at maintaining either, especially if it concerns myself. But I do know how to maintain friendship, relationship, and commitment with another individual.

My point is, this abrupt call for wardclass tomorrow because others can't make it yet with their revised resource unit makes me feel so fretful. Pacing up to complete the needed things for tomorrow makes me dizzy and easily dehydrated. Gosh! I hope it ends well tomorrow, so that all our short hardships would pay off.

Until my next post.
Ciao and Good night!

P.S. I think I'm not going to sleep right now. I need to read, read, and read. :(